I have returned home from Jekyll Island, Georgia. The place was full of natural beauty, and when I walked out my front door, my only sight was the sparkling ocean under a clear blue sky. The way the sunlight hit the water made it feel like glitter had been thrown into the waves, splashing every grain back and forth. Beauty.
I am, and have been for the past three weeks, in a state of excitement, fear, and utter exhaustion. I have started in South Carolina, drove to West Virginia - back to South Carolina. Packed and slept for 6 hours, flew to California for 7 days, back to South Carolina. Worked three 12 hour shifts in a row... Drove to Jekyll island, Georgia, (also a quick drive from Jekyll to Jacksonville, Florida), then back home to South Carolina. And here I am. Anxiously inviting the day to come and go. Today is a day for me. No plans. No agenda.
The fear involving my dad has been heavy in sweeps, but it's always there. Possibly hiding well behind other feelings, but always there. We have gotten good and bad news, but the mere fact is that he has cancer. My dad has cancer. I still just cannot believe this. So far, chemo starts first. Three weeks of treatments, then another PET scan, then surgery to remove the top lobe of his left lung. And that scared me. Then I wonder how bad it scares him. I understand now that his fear is worse than mine.
My fear is that I am away, in South Carolina. My fear is that I will be absent from something, or not available to help with something.
I will be making the travel back and forth through this process. My work, bless them all, has let me arrange my schedule so I can work around trips... Because family is first... At least mine is!
On a fantastic note... My husband passed his committee this week!!! This is the very reason we were at Jekyll Island, and a celebration with the man I love... On the beach... Well, it was perfection! Many amazing conversations were had, great food and great friends to share it with... It was a great trip. One VERY memorable mention I must add - on Wednesday afternoon, we traveled with Stephen to pick up Author Sam Keen at the Jacksonville airport in Florida. This man has written many many books my husband is very fond of, and to see him in the car, embraced in conversation with Sam, and giddy about it, was amazing. I'm so happy to have experienced that with him!
Now that I am home, I plan on major R&R before going back to work. Though West Virginia, California, and Georgia all treated me so well, I am enjoying saying my goodnights in my own bed.
|David and Stephen|
|Jekyll Island, Georgia|
|having lunch on the pier in Jacksonville, Florida|
|David with author, Sam Keen|